Five Minute Friday: Other

This post is a five-minute free write. There is no editing, no over thinking, just writing.


Thank you for reading.



Travis was tragically shot to death along with his sister on March 12, 2017 while attempting to save her from an estranged ex-boyfriend. I lost my best friend when he died, my "other" Stephen.



I met Travis on the same day that I met my husband Stephen . The same way in which God had placed Stephen in my path, I know He added Travis.🙂 Stephen and Travis had been friends since the second grade and inseparable ever since. The stories about Stephen and Travis were intoxicating!  The endless desert dune rides in Glamis, CA, river trips, wanderings in Baja and hours surfing together that were too numerous to count. All along, every day, through the years and adventures, an unshakeable bond formed. Stephen and Travis were more than mere friends, they were brothers.

Travis and Stephen shared a loyalty to one another, proven again and again. All throughout their childhood and teen years, they counted on each other because in their lives, everyone else always let them down. Travis was there, supporting Stephen when at just 13,  he was tasked with supporting his family of 5 because his father decided to leave them. Then,  when at only 15 years old, Travis' mother was killed in a car accident. Travis was destroyed and it was Stephen who saved him from the brink of suicicide and put some life back into his soul. 

Brothers by a bond that only empty promises and broken lives can create, Travis and Stephen were “tight”, fiercely bonded and loyal to teach other in every way.Travis was the "Other Stephen" in my life. He was as constant in my life as Stephen. Travis was my rescuer when my broken cars left me stranded. He didn't just show up, he brought food and drinks and made even the worst circumstances a party. After moving across the country and doubting my decision to be with Stephen and live in San Diego, Travis was my voice of reason. My friend in a lonely new place. He knew Stephen as well as I did, "Be patient he said, be silent and still. Pray." I took his words to heart, I was silent and Prayed. God whispered the answer to me and as Travis had known all along, I decided to stay.

Travis, this "other Stephen" was an uncle to my babies, he cherished them all. He would bring them overflowing pinatas "just because", he spoiled my kiddos endlessly. He was the wild to our sensible, essential in every child's life. Travis strapped them in helmets and onto the back of anything with wheels. He burned the love of desert riding in their souls and I’m so grateful! Everything that scared me, the speed, the abandon, the injuries, I didn’t worry about them at all when he was at the wheel. Travis burned in them a LOVE of the place that had saved him and gave him new life. He was intertwined into every fabric of our family, ever present, always there.

And of course, he was there on the cold November night in 2004, when a rogue doctor's needle left me broken. Stephen was destroyed and Travis was there to carry me home because the other Stephen couldn't bear it.

"He's dead," Stephen said his face was stricken and just like that, Travis was gone. One reckless act extuinguished 2 lives and there was no going back. This light in our lives, this reminder to always, as he would say: "live", grew dark and a cloud covered us all.

In the brief moments following the news, I remembered that we always knew, Travis was different, he wouldn't go out of this world like any other person because he never lived like any other person. Every race Travis entered or extended trail ride he took, we worried.  But to be gunned down at home? NO, this doesn't happen to "regular people", it was a nightmare to process. Truthfully, we still haven't processed any of this madness.

I drove to the beach to honor my friend. The memories washed over me, suffocating me with joy and devastation. I remebered it all, the surfing, the parties, the late nights with friends. The times we were free and full of everything San Diego had placed at our feet. Then later came sensible umbrellas, sunscreen, sand castle days always leading us to bonfire nights full of sticky, marshmallow fingers and grinning chocolate, teeth. 

I said good bye to my friend and a piece of myself, we love you we miss you and we'll never forget,

Our Other Stephen





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